“Obama left you behind!”

 . . . is a phrase I have been hearing the past two days since Obama returned to the U.S. after his trip to Africa and his visit in Tanzania. 

It is true; he did leave me behind, but I am also proud to say that I was here before him and I will continue to stay and live more closely with Tanzanians than he will ever be able to. His visit has been a conversation starter, a point of debate and yet another thing to draw attention to my ‘otherness’ in this country. From the traffic jams, to the celebrations, to the freshly and uniquely clean streets, Obama’s very brief visit has qualities of both a burden and a blessing to this city. With him and his family, came exorbitant fleets of vehicles, security teams and press. All of this hype got me thinking about the differences between his visit and my own. 

Home visits are at the cornerstone of Tanzanian culture. They exemplify the values placed on familial relationships, hospitality and being present to each other, often without speaking. For these reasons, Kikwete emphasized the importance of Obama’s visit in establishing a working and optimistically mutual (not exploitive) relationship between the two nations during their press conference on Monday. Home visits have also been an integral and life-giving part of my recent vacation. Mine, however, came with less hype, fewer security guards and simultaneously more authenticity. He flew. I walked. He made appearances. I hoped to be anonymous. He was guarded. I was vulnerable. He controlled the conversation. I listened. 

I’m sure Obama enjoyed his visit to Tanzania, Senegal and South Africa, but I wish he was able to experience the hospitality and humility of an honest home visit. I wish he was able to walk across the log acting as a bridge over a stream of water, down the steps made of sand bags, and into the homes of some of the most kind and welcoming people I have ever met. I wish he took his shoes off before entering their homes. I wish he sat in silence due to his own inadequacy in the language. I wish his visit aimed at accompaniment. But all of these wishes made me that much more grateful for my own experiences in this city and country.  And maybe by next week, people will realize that I wasn’t left behind or forgotten, but rather that I chose to stay here, live here and be here. After all, while he was addressing the press and posing for pictures, I was hand-washing the residual dust and dirt out of my mosquito net just a few miles away.